Andrei gains skills in reading notes, ignoring them

We don't watch TV on Saturday mornings, but every other morning that's the first thing Andrei does when he gets up. Brent usually lets him watch a show or two so he can sleep later. But on Saturday, I'm home so I hang out with him instead.
This Saturday I had to work, so I left a post-it for Andrei that said "NO TV" I was fairly confident that he would be able to either sound it out, or ask Brent what it said.

When I got home I saw that my note was crumpled, but still on the TV, so I knew it had been seen.

What actually happened is this...

Andrei: Look papa, what's this say?
Brent: (still half asleep): I don't know
Andrei: It says - no TV!
Brent: .... Didn't you already watch a movie?
Andrei: yeah...

I'm not sure if I should be proud, or ticked.

The real Batmobile

Seats two


Breakfast service (the other Batman had a cup of coffee but he must have lost it)


I'm told the tailpipe shoots fire


And weaponry. But be careful, front Batman, or you'll get your arm shot off!

6 months

Today is six months from Andrei's adoption date, so here's a little update on how we've all been progressing.

Andrei is doing phenomenal. His English is so much better than I ever would have thought. It's not perfect, by any means, but we fool strangers on the street regularly. There are less than 10 words that he still says in Russian, and his English grammar and sentence structure is getting better every day. When he doesn't know a word, or says a new one in Russian, we ask him to explain and he shows us or finds a way to describe it in English. I'm amazed at how quickly he's picked it up.
He has started processing feelings about his birth parents. He tells us stories about them (which can't possibly be true) - about his 'father' who gave him a motorcycle, and then was Superman but died. He talks more about his birth-father than about his birth-mother. He keeps insisting that they are dead, but we tell him that they're not, and I think that makes him sad (because he doesn't understand why they're not with him - not because they're not dead). I can see he's conflicted. It's hard to know what to say already, I really don't know what to do when the big questions start. Brent and I pray regularly that God heals his heart, and that we help him feel loved and know how to answer his questions.
Socially, he's the most extroverted child I have ever met in my life, which is pretty ironic considering I'd just as soon be by myself all the time. He talks to everyone and anyone, says "what's your name you", and tells them they have nice hair. We had to tell him to stop yelling hello to people in the cars next to us at stoplights. Now that it's summer I'll hopefully be able to find more kids for him to play with.
All in all, he's doing so well - a friend asked how long we've been home - a year, right? It feel like forever already - like he's always been ours.

Brent is a phenomenal father. I'm so lucky to have him, and so is Andrei. He definitely balances out my tough side, and he and Andrei play and tickle and fight and get along so well. Andrei has started calling him 'daddy' instead of 'papa' and Brent says it has made it more real to him, but I think he's been great from the first minute. :)

I've been doing good too. Better I think. I'm dealing with dreaded 'mommy guilt' now and second guessing myself at everything. I think that partly comes because I'm playing teacher role too. But I can see lately where he's been learning and that encourages me. I think parenting is becoming pretty much everything I imagined - except a little more hyper than I thought...

Right now he's at kid's church so I will finish this post and get back to enjoying my night off. :)

One less fish in the sea

Andrei and Brent and some friends went fishing at a trout pond. Brent forgot to take the camera, but Andrei caught one right away and then watched the owner guy gut it and filet it. Since Brent and I don't eat fish, I had Andrei cook it and eat it all himself.

Showing off


Pepper, garlic salt, and lemon juice


Bake for 15 minutes


How's it taste?


Mmm, yummy!

First post-placement

We had our first post-placement visit this past week, even though it's not due for a while. The Russian government requires us to send a report 6 months, 1 year, 2 years and 3 years after the adoption, to make sure Andrei's doing okay.

It was non eventful.

We had a new social worker because our old one doesn't take cases anymore. I gave her the report format from our adoption coordinator and we went through it in about a half hour. She commented that Andrei seemed to be doing very well, his English was good, and everything looked fine.
Andrei told us that he didn't like her because he was scared that he'd have to go back to Chuvashia. But we assured him that he's stuck with us.
I thought I'd be stressed out but it was easy. One (almost) down, three to go. :)

Amusing conversations

I suppose we're moving past the 'get to know you' stage and into the 'who are you to me and what is this whole adoption thing' stage.

Andrei's been acting like a baby lately, and (when he's not doing it to get out of chores) I hold him and call him my baby and rock him. He pretends to cry and I tell him I'm here for him always and he's my baby Andrei.
The other day we were reading about Abraham and Sarah and how they were sad because they didn't have a baby. Andrei then said he was my baby and I hugged him, then he said something about coming out of my tummy. Um, no, remember - you were in Russia, and then you came to live with us. "Oh" he says "I remember - I was in [orphanage teacher's] tummy!" No, sorry. You were in another lady's tummy and then you went to the orphanage and then you came here. (I really have to look up his birth-mother's name because I don't even remember it right now) I guess this is how the conversations start.

Yesterday we were watching TV and the spiders were making babies and he correctly pointed out to me that mamas make milk from *here* (poking me) Then he asked me if I made milk. I said, no, mamas only make milk when they have babies. "But I'm your baby!" "Yes, but only when babies are little" He then proceeded to crawl in my lap and tell me he was hungry (uh oh) I asked him what he wanted to eat and he said a banana (phew!)

It's interesting to see what he already knows and what corolations he's making. All day he tells me about how things were 'in Chuvashia'. Everything from "we had grass in Chuvashia" to "we had magical fairy princesses in Chuvashia" He says he misses his friends.

I wonder how he will process the news that he has another lady in his life that he never remembers meeting.

Well that's embarrassing

Today I lost my temper and yelled at Andrei. Then later I apologized and said sometimes mama gets angry and is the bad guy. He asked me if we wanted to pray that Jesus would help me not be angry.

So he did.

It was very cool and very humbling.

Here comes the sun

I haven't written in a while, I know. The past month or so has been really hard. I think it was a really difficult getting used to the life of a mom - a working mom at that. It was nothing like I could have ever expected - and not in a good way. It's hard to write about, because I don't want to imply that I don't like it. I think I'm finally getting to like it.

When a woman has a baby, her body actually produces hormones that causes her to love her baby. Birth and breastfeeding are designed this way. Adoptive parents don't get that boost. I guess even when people adopt babies, they get lots of squishy cuddly time, but we don't have much of that. Andrei is just starting to feel comfortable enough to relax by us on the couch. Not trying to make excuses or anything, but it's been hard.

I love Andrei, intellectually. I know in my head that he's my son and my responsibility and I'm his mom. But to really start loving him, it's more difficult than I thought. When you marry someone, you at least get to know them before they move in with you and encroach on your personal space.


Anyway, I titled this post with a much happier title than I what I'm writing about. Things have been better this past week. I am taking better care of myself than I was before - I have to. I have learned that the hard way - I'll go crazy I've found. I hooked myself up with another mom and she listens to my situations and offers advice and accountability. The weather is helping too - the sunny days - I even hung clothes out today.
So I'm sure everything from here on out will not be all rosy and wonderful. It is a work in progress. But things are getting better. We're getting to know each other. And I'm finding out he's a pretty cool kid. Even if he did just fart in my face....

Andrei had to come inside today

Because I caught him climbing on the roof of the shed!

The funny part - I had just caught him trying to climb up there - then I said if he did that again, he'd have to come inside. Two minutes later, he called me out to show me that he had done it!

He was very remorseful when I actually made him do what I had said.

Give me advice

Where is a good place for a kid's haircut in Sheboygan? I'm also open to another mom who can cut hair decently. I only know how to shave Brent's head and I don't want to do that to Andrei.
He's starting to look like a hobbit.

Certificate of Citizenship

On Saturday, we got Andrei's Certificate of Citizenship. It has his picture and name and a seal and says, "Be it known that Andrei Rockwell Homer now residing at .... having applied to the Director of US Citizenship and Immigration Services for a certificate of citizenship ..... blah blah.... that he is now a citizen of the United States of America, became a citizen thereof on December 18, 2007 and is now in the United States.

He also received a letter from President Bush welcoming him to the 'joy, responsibility, and freedom of American citizenship'.

Congrats, Andrei!

I'd take a picture, but there's a note on it saying that I'll get locked up if I do, so sorry. You'll just have to adopt your own kid to see one ;)

Sunday surprise

At night when we tuck Andrei in, we tell him about something that will happen the next day, so Saturday night we told him there was church the next day. He said he didn't want to go, so we told him there would be a surprise at church (I thought the Bible Bucks store would be open - if you read your Bible, you get Bible Bucks and can buy something). He got all excited and said - Jesus? and proceeded to act out Jesus flying down from heaven and then getting crucified on the cross. (I think that was it - we weren't really clear on the whole thing.) We were trying not to laugh and at the same time saying, no, no that's not the surprise. Then he said it was sad when Jesus died, but it's okay because "Jesus Hooray! chu-chu balit (little hurt)" - I'm guessing because he rose from the dead. It was very funny.

So the Bible Bucks store was actually not open, so we didn't have a surprise for Andrei. Also, Jesus did not fly down from heaven.

Then Brent came home after second service and said we did have a surprise for him. There was a family visiting that was starting a Russian speaking church in Milwaukee, and we thought Andrei might want to talk to them. So we brought him in and introduced them. He said hello, how are you, and then asked what part of Russia Andrei was from. Andrei said - no, not Russia - I'm American!
There were a lot of people around so we went into an office to talk more privately. We asked the man to ask if Andrei had anything he wanted to tell us, and Andrei covered his ears and ran out of the room. lol I guess not. The couple said they understood, and that he was probably confused by the whole thing. We chatted for a few minutes and then headed back home. He was acting a little sad, so we were sure to tell him - "No more Detsky Dom (orphanage) - only America - a long long long long time." and Andrei said "Yes, good bye Russia, all English, allllll English."

I guess he wants to stay :)

Saturday picture post

Making cookies


Taking the wagon for a walk


Homemade drum set - with chopsticks for sticks

Andrei-isms

Andrei: I don't love you! (ie - I'm angry)
Brent: Why?
Andrei: Z
B: ???
Andrei: Z!
B: Ohhhh - Y - Z
Andrei: Yeah - Y and Z!

Me: Thank you
Andrei: You're welcome. No Blah-blum.

Andrei: Does Papa love Andrei?
Brent: Yes
Andrei: Does Papa love Mama?
Brent: Yes
Andrei: Does Papa love the cat?
Brent: NO!
Andrei: Papa! Please?
Brent: No - papa does not love the cat!
Andrei whispering to me: Shhh - papa loves the cat - it's a secret!

Andrei to the cable guy: Bye bye - I love you!
Cable guy: Uh - I love you too, kid.

Andrei fell off the chair and hit his ear on the wall so Brent gave him a cold piece of celery to put behind his ear. After a few minutes he takes it out and stares at it in wonder, looks back at Brent and then at the celery.
Heyyy! Good job papa! Thank you! :)

Andrei: Look! Come with me - I have a suprise to show you!
We follow:
Andrei opens a random cupboard or goes into his room (that has nothing changed from the last time): Suprise!!!!
Us: ... ?
Andrei: Good job, Andrei?
Us: Uh, sure, good job, Andrei.

Question 1b

Comment from DramaMama

Two related and new questions. What do you miss the most about your life BK (before kid)? How do you and Brent escape, individually and together, now that you're in the AK (after kid) era? I know you've talked about having to plan your life around Andrei, but is there something specific you miss out on? I know I miss quiet sometimes. Even when Mo's quiet, I still am not b/c quiet means trouble and I've got to get up off my butt and find him!!

What do I miss the most? Being able to do whatever I want, whenever I want. Being able to lounge around all day if I feel crappy. Shopping, which I actually hated to do - now I miss it.
How do Brent and I escape? Well, we both work, so that's an escape I guess. Not really a fun one, but it's away time. As far as Brent and I getting away together - well, that doesn't really happen anymore. I'm okay with that. This is a season, and it won't last forever. It makes the few minutes alone so much sweeter and more valuable - like if he's watching a movie, we can chit chat or watch a different movie on the laptop. Before I went back to work we'd have some time after Andrei went back to bed, but now I pretty much go to bed at the same time, so we just steal a few minutes through the day when we can. Andrei still can't understand when we're talking to each other, but I know that won't last for long.
Something specific I miss? Going to the movies, I think. Brent and I used to go quite often, and now we haven't been since before we left for Russia. Actually I'm going to take this time to vent about Marcus Cinema too, because the one movie I was willing to get a sitter for (big stretch for me) is not being shown at any Marcus theater until later. I really wanted to see this on opening night so there would be no spoilers. Argh! Oh well. Not like I have time to browse media on a regular basis either, so maybe I'll be able to keep myself in the dark until we can get around to seeing it.

Andrei read a word?!

I barely believed it when Brent told me!

We got cable today, and when I was away at the Ladies' Christmas Party, Brent and Andrei were trying to find something to watch on TV. Brent was flipping through the channel guide where it lists all the TV shows and Andrei pointed out that Avatar was on. No picutre, no Avatar logo - just the plain word.

The boy will never cease to amaze me.

Question 2 and 3

From Holly

- Does Andrei love to be outside and beg you to go out all the time or can he be amused indoors?

- Have you officially started school? Do you have a set amount of time your spend on school everyday or are you waiting until his language is all caught up? I'm totally curious about this. Do you have to register somewhere as being a homeschooler so nobody thinks your kid is just chronically truant? :) Do homeschooled kids have to take year end exams to make sure the parent is actually teaching them something?

Outside? Yeah he loves going to the park and taking his wagon for a walk at least every day. It has been warmer - well not for you maybe - around 35 every day the past week, so we try to get out as much as we can. We can't let him outside by himself yet, which I think frusterates Brent, but he doesn't know where he can and can not go yet. Hopefully by this summer he'll be able to have more freedom.

Homeschooling. Yes, you do have to register with the state stating your intentions as a homeschooler. No you do not have to take yearly exams. This is only for Wisconsin though. Every state is different and some are more strict than others. In Wisconsin you have to teach at least 875 hours during the school year and focus on the following subjects: Math, Science, Social Studies, Language Arts, Reading, and Health.
If by "officially started" you mean sitting down and doing book learning, then no, we have not officially started. He is obviously learning every day with English. It will be a while until his language is caught up to his peers - probably a year or more. I'm not sure what approach we're going to take yet - I'm still researching and learning myself really. There are so many curriculums and theories and types of homeschooling - we need to find what works out best with Andrei and me and our family. I'm really leaning toward a super relaxed style, which Brent is not too fond of, but we'll see. He is learning, that is for sure.
I'm actually reading a few books on the subject right now, so I'll probably be posting more about this when I'm finished with them.

Question 1

Comment from DramaMama

Has anyone that doesn't know you asked a stupid question? What I mean is, lots of adoptive parents get questions about why you don't know what your kid likes, or if you think he wants to go back or whatever. I'm sure the people who do know you ask stupid questions, but thankfully you forgive us, right? =) The other questions I always ask people are the same. What's the best part? What's the worst part? Most interesting? Be honest...there has to be a 'worst' part! As an outsider, it's all interesting to us...but we might not get to see the hard parts. If I think of more, I'll write later...

I don't think anyone has asked me any really dumb questions. I think all of the questions I've gotten are genuine, even if they're not always exactly PC. I'm trying to think and I really can not think of any dumb questions. I like talking about our adoption, so I think everyone around us knows everything about us already. :)
Ok - best part? I think my favorite thing is seeing Andrei learn new things. When he says a new word or talks about things we did today it makes me suprised and so proud of him
Worst part. Um, being spit on. That doesn't happen anymore really. But I learned that it was my thing that pushed me over the edge. And I'm ashamed to admit my less than Christ-like behavior when it did happen. But like I said, that doesn't really happen anymore. So now I think the worst part is all my stuff being touched and gone through and upset. Don't touch my stuff! :)
Most interesting. Well, nothing is boring anymore - lol. I think the most interesting thing was actually being in Russia and experiencing life. I love travelling and seeing new things. Now we're just trying to create normal again - whatever that may be. :)

So, anyone else have questions? Ask away! Even if you think they're dumb ;)

No, mom, he's the good guy!

I think I might have been the last person on the planet that hadn't seen Return of the Jedi, but just in case you don't want the ending spoiled, don't read on.

Andrei watched for the first time last week, but I fell asleep, so when he wanted to watch it again, I figured I'd actually finally get around to watching it.
Sometimes Andrei has a hard time following movies, for the obvious reason that he can't understand the diolouge, so when Vader came on I said Yeach - he's bad! Andrei kept insisting that he was good, and I just assumed that Luke killed him in the end, which would logically make Luke the 'bad guy' since he did the killing. (I told you I had never seen it!) Ok, so I said again, no, Vader is bad, and Andrei went into this tyrade and started acting out the whole ending - complete with the light sabers, electricution, falling down the hole and Luke crying at the end. It was very comical. Then when the actual scene came on he made sure I was watching the whole time because it happened just like he acted out.

See, mom, Vader is the good guy!

Pictures

King Andrei


Sledding at Volrath Bowl


Blowing bubbles at the JMKAC ARTery


Some of the park




Andrei pointed out to me that we say cheese when we take a picture and that was the same as his sandwich - so here's a pic of cheese and cheese


Caught off guard

One month parentversary!

I see I haven't posted in a while. Yesterday was our one month anniversary of being legal parents (even though we've had him for slightly longer, the paperwork says the 11th)

So. Where to start.
Andrei is doing so well. He's probably adjusting quicker than we are. Being parents is.... different. Very different. It seems strange to plan my whole day around him and waht we can and can not do together. Brent and I used to go to movies, go out to eat, watch violent war movies, now we're staying home and watching ABC vidoes (actually Return of the Jedi right now - so that's better than cartoons). I could eat whenever I wanted, not make dinner if I didn't feel like it, take a nap in the middle of the day. Not any more. It's not bad. It's just different. Takes more thought and planning.

Actually with all of our problems in Moscow, I'm suprised we can leave the house at all. Yesterday we went to the store and he wanted some candy, but when I told him no, he cheerfully said 'ok' and we left. Ok, well it took a minute or so, but there was no tantruming. Being around lots of people still overstimulates him, but we were able to go to children's church last week without melting down last week. Hopefully tomorrow I won't have to bribe him out the door.

His eating is good. He eats almost everything we serve, at least a 'chu-chu' (little) bite. His favorite foods are french fries, apples, oranges, carrots, and ice cream.

He is so much of a boy it's shocking to me. I didn't have any brothers, so no experience in this realm. He loves Starwars, Avatar, and Spiderman and acts them all out. Right now is the big fight between Luke and Vader, and I can just see the excitement on his face - he keeps telling me to watch along. :) But he assures me that it ends okay.

His English is coming along well. He knows almost all of his flash cards, and we communicate well. We get our point across eventually. I think we might be at a little bit of a standstill at the moment because we do communicate so well. He has little incentive to learn more words. I could see how school might be a good thing in this situation, but he's definately not ready for 1st grade. I think if he had more friends he would want to talk more - his current best friend is two, so there's not much talking going on. Actually Moses has picked up some of Andrei's Russian.

I still have to find an attorney to do our readoption, but I don't get much time at the computer without Andrei bugging me to play his Diego game or Alphababy.

I feel okay about my role as a mother. It is strange, like I said, but I'm so glad he's here with us. He's very concerned hat we're with him all the time and he knows where we are. If one of us is working he talks to the other about us.

I don't have much else to say. Ask me some questions and I'll answer them :) I'll post some pics later when I get my camera cord.

Ya nee pa Ruski, Ya Eng-ga-lish

"I'm not Russian, I'm English" (I had no idea we moved to Europe)

Andrei now counts in English better than he counts in Russian. I had to help him today remember what four was.
Weird.

Also, we've been home for 2 weeks today.

Andrei the model

So a woman from a message board I frequent was asking for pictures of kids for her parenting website, so I submitted one of Andrei. What do you think? Does it catch his character well? :)

Link

Looks like I should read the article too...

Andrei the carnivore

We had breakfast at Brent's parent's today and Margaret had made bacon, which Andrei had never had before. I told him it was yucky and just passed it on by. Everyone else at the table told him it was 'coosna' (delicious) and he should try some. Brent finally convinced him into a little bite and then he turned and gave me a dirty look for 'lying' to him. LOL I have to at least try!

One week home: all about Brent and the cats

Sorry to lump Brent in with the cats, but I don't know much to say about either, so they have to share a post.

Brent is a great father. He's doing so well and his patience keeps me in check just as much as he keeps Andrei in check. He's always the one doing fun dad stuff and roughhousing being boys. Andrei gets mad that he has to go to work so much, but a concrete schedule will help with that. Yesterday we introduced the concept that when the little hand points here, then papa will be home. Then Andrei gets up every five minutes and looks at the clock to see if it has moved.

Andrei has taken over feeding the cats, and is learning their names.
Larry still has not showed his face, except for two hissy incidents, so now when Andrei talks about him he makes a hissy face too. He also has stuffed all the blankets under his bed because he's afraid that Larry will try to hide out under there. Andrei does want to make friends, though, because whenever he sees Larry scurry from under one hiding place to another, Andrei runs after him and tries to feed him and call him back. I'm sure they'll become friends eventually. Larry comes out after Andrei is in bed and just mews and mews and is probably just complaining about this darn kid who is annoying him.
Beaver is still tolerating, and Andrei likes to police him away from the Christmas tree and Larry's food dish. He pets him and carries him around and I tell him to put Beaver down but Beaver only complains a little.
Andrei says that Beaver is all of our cat, but Larry is his only, so hopefully the'll all get along soon enough.

Now everyone's awake so it's time to say Merry Christmas to all of you and have a great day!

Home one week: all about mama

Mama has some big adjustments too. Mama is used to being home alone all day doing her own thing and with no one around to bother her. Not that Andrei is a bother.....

The last sermon I heard - in Russia - was about the man being let through the roof to see Jesus, and about how he had to trust his friends so much do let them help him in this way. It was about being vulnerable and allowing others to help you in your difficult times. I knew this sermon was for me, because I knew that I had a difficult time coming up and I have such a hard time accepting help from anyone.

Yes, this is a difficult time. Disorganization frusterates me and I think seven year old boys are the definition of disorganization. I feel like all I do all day is follow behind him and fix things back to 'my way'. I'm slowly getting over that though.
We thought the house was baby proofed, but it's not really Andrei proofed. Since he still is figuring out what belongs to whom, he explores and digs though everything. My office is generally the keeper of important papers, gifts, things that must not be lost, etc. and now he's wanting to go in there all the time and touch it all. Yesterday I finally loaded up a video game onto my computer so I could clean a bit in there and at least get the really important stuff out of the way.

Also, and I've heard this is true of all mothers, I've seen the limits of my temper, patience, guilt, frustration, gentleness, and self-control. I finally just started leaving the room when he starts lashing out at me, because I know I will start lashing right back at him - and I'm supposed to be the adult, right?

I don't really know how to act lovingly toward him, because I have my guard up too - Brent is so much better at that than I am. I bought the book Attaching in Adoption and I feel bad that I'm reading it to know how to act toward my own kid. But he doesn't feel like my kid yet - I have to learn as much as he does how to be in a family. It's very frusterating to me that I don't seem to have any mommy instincts, just survival methods. But he's still a stranger to me. At least with marriage you get to know the person before moving in together - this is a bit more sudden.

Being home all day is insanely boring - especially since Brent has been working more because of Christmas. At least now he has a few days off and then will be into a normal schedule. I'll be going back to work in January too, which I can't decide if I'm happy about or not. I don't think going back to getting up early (3 AM) will be much of an adjustment - because of jetlag, I'm still not sleeping past 4 AM. I think I won't like having to go to bed early because that's Brent and my time and it will be cut short. And, Brent will have to start getting up early because Andrei does not let anyone sleep in. Actually, as I write this, it's quarter past 7 and it's the longest he has slept since we got him.

I will have to figure out specific activity to do with Andrei every day or I will go crazy. Anything to break up the day. Also, if anyone wants to stop by for coffee or a chat, please do. Actually, I'm begging you to stop by for coffee or a chat. Our home is open for visitors, as long as you don't mind matchbox cars and knights in plastic armor all over the floor. I can't wait until January when we can start a structure and schedule. I think that will be good for all of us.

I've also realized that it will probably be a while before I get to go to adult church by myself again. I found a podcast to listen to on Sunday mornings, and yesterday's was very encouraging. It talked about Abraham and God calling him not only to a new land, but a new person and reality on the inside. That's sort of what we're going through here. God has called us to something new, to what he has promised for us, and He'll be there every step. I've just got to keep reminding myself of that.

Home one week: All about Andrei

I realized that, in Russia I posted every day about our attachment and Andrei's behavior and how things were going, but I have not really done that since we've been home.
I told Brent I think he got switched at the airport... he's that much of a different kid.
It has become so clear how confused and pent up he was while we were still in Russia. Here, he can run and play and be loud, and he knows (I think) he's not going back to the orphanage. He has not asked about it, or thought that Dima was at the door. He says now - plane, car, America Boy!!! instead of plane, car, orphanage!!! He knows what things are his and that the house is his (well, and mama and papa's). He says his movies are in English, not Russian. He says he is American and not Russian. He really is becoming a fun kid to be around.

We have not gone many places so far. We went to church on Saturday and that lasted about 10 minutes. He saw Brent and grandma and grandpa, and then other grandma and grandpa, and he got all worked up. It was clear he couldn't calm himself down, so we went home. The next day we tried church again and the rule was Andrei and mama hold hands always, and we went straight to children's church without saying hello to Brent first. He did great. He sat through church, and then was able to see Brent and not get overly excited, and then walk home with minimal trauma. We used this strategy on Christmas Eve service, and he was able to sit (sort of) through two services, and go up front for the family candle lighting. I was so proud.

We are also now able to see better when he is about to reach 'critical mass' and we can try and head it off before it gets too bad. Last night we had presents at my parents house and he was twirling, laughing (the meltdown laugh), jumping around like a ninja, dominating everyone's attention and even started toe walking (which was kind of creepy - it's a sign of sensory overload). Of course many of these activities are normal boy things, but it was clear he was very nervous and didn't know how to act, so we corralled him and gave him some paper and a pen to focus on. He was unhappy about having to sit down, but calmed pretty quickly.

He doesn't know how to act around other children and stares, pokes, puts up his fists, and makes faces, and generally doesn't know any personal boundaries. This will come in time - I just tell him (over and over and over) to turn around, stay near to mama, whatever the situation calls for. I think it's strange for him to see so many children with their parents, and he's trying to figure out who belongs to who and who he belongs to and just make sense of all these people.

He gets frustrated at home sometimes still, but I think most of those things are normal age things and not attachment. I've been reading "Your Six Year Old" and it says that children this age have a hard time losing or being unable to do something. This is Andrei completely. He gets angry when he can't catch the football, when he can't tie his shoe, when he can't make his robot stand up straight. I just wait patiently (as I can) until he comes to me for help, or just let him keep trying until he gets it.

His English is coming along so quickly, I'm pretty shocked. He says the English word sometimes when he needs something, which is actually kind of difficult becuase his pronunciation is off, and we don't know what language he is speaking, so we have to figure that out too. It took 10 minutes to get that he was looking for his 'rallet' because he actually ment 'wallet', and I was expecting to hear 'kooshlock'. But we're getting it. When he asks for something and I don't know what now, I ask him 'where?' and he shows me and we figure it out. And there's our handy dandy dictionary which is used often.
He's also understanding so much more and picking up on our conversations. Even when we're not talking to him, he'll hear us say 'seven' and poke me and hold up seven fingers. Or I said 'movie' to my mom the other day and he piped up and said Scooby-Doo! Brent and I will have to sensor our conversation much sooner than I thought we would. :)

So that's how Andrei is adjusting. We're still sort of in survival mode because of the busy holidays, and then things will really calm down come January and we can start working on real life.

Andrei's newest English phrase

"Gimmie a hug"
*awwww*

You're not six, you're seven!

Or, rather, "Andrei nee shest, Andrei sehm!"
I tried to figure out how to tell Andrei it was his birthday, but the only thing I could find was 'special day' so we went with just telling him that he wasn't six anymore, he was now seven, and showing him a picture of a birthday cake, which he was disappointed that it only had five candles.
I brought him a baloon (scooby doo!) and chocolate milk for breakfast and then that evening, the grandparents came over for pizza and cake.
We got him a watch and some legos, aunt Holly and uncle Chris got him a football (which I promptly put in the outdoor stuff closet), the grandparents got him some books, clothes, a game, and a movie.
He also got a membership to Above and Beyond Children's Museum which I can not wait to try.
It was a good day. I can't believe I have a seven year old kid!

I'm laughing

Andrei kept losing his coins so we were at the store and bought him a wallet with a zipper pouch. Now he follows Brent around asking him for money. haha He just says it with such a sad voice - please papa - I love you papa - give me some money papa.

It worked once and now he won't ever ever let up, probably for 10 or 20 years or so.

Andrei lost a tooth!

Andrei lost his second tooth today (we missed number one). He came in the room all bloddy and spitty holding his tooth. We all cheered and then he wanted to throw it away. I don't think they do tooth fairy at the orphanage. I sealed it up in an envelope but I'm not sure if I'll give him a ruble or not - I don't think he really gets the concept anyway.

I think he's been wiggling another tooth, so we'll see if any others fall out soon. :)