Andrei the model

So a woman from a message board I frequent was asking for pictures of kids for her parenting website, so I submitted one of Andrei. What do you think? Does it catch his character well? :)

Link

Looks like I should read the article too...

Better World Shopper

I got myself a little Christmas present today and ordered the Better World Shopper. With so many different companies, and so much to research on who is better or worse or more ethical on what issues, it makes shopping difficult. Someone could never keep up with the research.
Now there's a book that has an easy, 5 second way to avoid the reseach and help you make shopping decisions. They have over 70 categories like coffee, cosmetics, dairy products, baby products, hair care, etc.
Here's what they rank on:

HUMAN RIGHTS: sweatshops, 3rd world community exploitation, international health issues, divestment, child labor, code of conduct.

THE ENVIRONMENT: global warming, rainforest destruction, pollution, recycling, renewable energy, greenwashing, toxic waste, eco-innovations, illegal dumping, sustainable farming.

ANIMAL PROTECTION: factory farming, animal testing, humane treatment, wild animal habitat.

COMMUNITY INVOLVEMENT: family farms, local business support, volunteer efforts, sustainable growth, philanthropic donations, nonprofit alliances, establishing foundations.

SOCIAL JUSTICE : fair wages, fatalities, union busting efforts, health & safety records, discrimination based on: race, gender, age, ability, religion, sexuality, ethnicity.

The book is pocket sized and only costs $10. They also have an abbreviated version (all the same categories, but less details) for $5 that works with iPhoto. I got that version and I can't wait to make use of it. :)

Coupla pics

I lost my camera for a few days so the Christmas pics are late, but here they are! :)



Our tree that was waiting for us when we got home from Russia. What a nice suprise :)



Andrei's Christmas display that he made after he found all of our other decorations in the basement. Then he added a few animals to the party.



An ornament that Andrei made. Actually it is a craft left over from when he was in VBS during the host visit. An Easter ornament on a Christmas tree, though, why not? I did try really hard to make him put the sign on right side up.



This was another surprise waiting for us when we got home. Our lovely friends put this up for us on our front window. I procrastinated too long though, and on a very windy day, all but two signs blew away. The America one is half torn in half and hanging in Andrei's room.

Andrei the carnivore

We had breakfast at Brent's parent's today and Margaret had made bacon, which Andrei had never had before. I told him it was yucky and just passed it on by. Everyone else at the table told him it was 'coosna' (delicious) and he should try some. Brent finally convinced him into a little bite and then he turned and gave me a dirty look for 'lying' to him. LOL I have to at least try!

posting

I'm posting from my new iPod touch. Wow brent I so do not deserve this.
I love you, babe!

One week home: all about Brent and the cats

Sorry to lump Brent in with the cats, but I don't know much to say about either, so they have to share a post.

Brent is a great father. He's doing so well and his patience keeps me in check just as much as he keeps Andrei in check. He's always the one doing fun dad stuff and roughhousing being boys. Andrei gets mad that he has to go to work so much, but a concrete schedule will help with that. Yesterday we introduced the concept that when the little hand points here, then papa will be home. Then Andrei gets up every five minutes and looks at the clock to see if it has moved.

Andrei has taken over feeding the cats, and is learning their names.
Larry still has not showed his face, except for two hissy incidents, so now when Andrei talks about him he makes a hissy face too. He also has stuffed all the blankets under his bed because he's afraid that Larry will try to hide out under there. Andrei does want to make friends, though, because whenever he sees Larry scurry from under one hiding place to another, Andrei runs after him and tries to feed him and call him back. I'm sure they'll become friends eventually. Larry comes out after Andrei is in bed and just mews and mews and is probably just complaining about this darn kid who is annoying him.
Beaver is still tolerating, and Andrei likes to police him away from the Christmas tree and Larry's food dish. He pets him and carries him around and I tell him to put Beaver down but Beaver only complains a little.
Andrei says that Beaver is all of our cat, but Larry is his only, so hopefully the'll all get along soon enough.

Now everyone's awake so it's time to say Merry Christmas to all of you and have a great day!

Home one week: all about mama

Mama has some big adjustments too. Mama is used to being home alone all day doing her own thing and with no one around to bother her. Not that Andrei is a bother.....

The last sermon I heard - in Russia - was about the man being let through the roof to see Jesus, and about how he had to trust his friends so much do let them help him in this way. It was about being vulnerable and allowing others to help you in your difficult times. I knew this sermon was for me, because I knew that I had a difficult time coming up and I have such a hard time accepting help from anyone.

Yes, this is a difficult time. Disorganization frusterates me and I think seven year old boys are the definition of disorganization. I feel like all I do all day is follow behind him and fix things back to 'my way'. I'm slowly getting over that though.
We thought the house was baby proofed, but it's not really Andrei proofed. Since he still is figuring out what belongs to whom, he explores and digs though everything. My office is generally the keeper of important papers, gifts, things that must not be lost, etc. and now he's wanting to go in there all the time and touch it all. Yesterday I finally loaded up a video game onto my computer so I could clean a bit in there and at least get the really important stuff out of the way.

Also, and I've heard this is true of all mothers, I've seen the limits of my temper, patience, guilt, frustration, gentleness, and self-control. I finally just started leaving the room when he starts lashing out at me, because I know I will start lashing right back at him - and I'm supposed to be the adult, right?

I don't really know how to act lovingly toward him, because I have my guard up too - Brent is so much better at that than I am. I bought the book Attaching in Adoption and I feel bad that I'm reading it to know how to act toward my own kid. But he doesn't feel like my kid yet - I have to learn as much as he does how to be in a family. It's very frusterating to me that I don't seem to have any mommy instincts, just survival methods. But he's still a stranger to me. At least with marriage you get to know the person before moving in together - this is a bit more sudden.

Being home all day is insanely boring - especially since Brent has been working more because of Christmas. At least now he has a few days off and then will be into a normal schedule. I'll be going back to work in January too, which I can't decide if I'm happy about or not. I don't think going back to getting up early (3 AM) will be much of an adjustment - because of jetlag, I'm still not sleeping past 4 AM. I think I won't like having to go to bed early because that's Brent and my time and it will be cut short. And, Brent will have to start getting up early because Andrei does not let anyone sleep in. Actually, as I write this, it's quarter past 7 and it's the longest he has slept since we got him.

I will have to figure out specific activity to do with Andrei every day or I will go crazy. Anything to break up the day. Also, if anyone wants to stop by for coffee or a chat, please do. Actually, I'm begging you to stop by for coffee or a chat. Our home is open for visitors, as long as you don't mind matchbox cars and knights in plastic armor all over the floor. I can't wait until January when we can start a structure and schedule. I think that will be good for all of us.

I've also realized that it will probably be a while before I get to go to adult church by myself again. I found a podcast to listen to on Sunday mornings, and yesterday's was very encouraging. It talked about Abraham and God calling him not only to a new land, but a new person and reality on the inside. That's sort of what we're going through here. God has called us to something new, to what he has promised for us, and He'll be there every step. I've just got to keep reminding myself of that.

Home one week: All about Andrei

I realized that, in Russia I posted every day about our attachment and Andrei's behavior and how things were going, but I have not really done that since we've been home.
I told Brent I think he got switched at the airport... he's that much of a different kid.
It has become so clear how confused and pent up he was while we were still in Russia. Here, he can run and play and be loud, and he knows (I think) he's not going back to the orphanage. He has not asked about it, or thought that Dima was at the door. He says now - plane, car, America Boy!!! instead of plane, car, orphanage!!! He knows what things are his and that the house is his (well, and mama and papa's). He says his movies are in English, not Russian. He says he is American and not Russian. He really is becoming a fun kid to be around.

We have not gone many places so far. We went to church on Saturday and that lasted about 10 minutes. He saw Brent and grandma and grandpa, and then other grandma and grandpa, and he got all worked up. It was clear he couldn't calm himself down, so we went home. The next day we tried church again and the rule was Andrei and mama hold hands always, and we went straight to children's church without saying hello to Brent first. He did great. He sat through church, and then was able to see Brent and not get overly excited, and then walk home with minimal trauma. We used this strategy on Christmas Eve service, and he was able to sit (sort of) through two services, and go up front for the family candle lighting. I was so proud.

We are also now able to see better when he is about to reach 'critical mass' and we can try and head it off before it gets too bad. Last night we had presents at my parents house and he was twirling, laughing (the meltdown laugh), jumping around like a ninja, dominating everyone's attention and even started toe walking (which was kind of creepy - it's a sign of sensory overload). Of course many of these activities are normal boy things, but it was clear he was very nervous and didn't know how to act, so we corralled him and gave him some paper and a pen to focus on. He was unhappy about having to sit down, but calmed pretty quickly.

He doesn't know how to act around other children and stares, pokes, puts up his fists, and makes faces, and generally doesn't know any personal boundaries. This will come in time - I just tell him (over and over and over) to turn around, stay near to mama, whatever the situation calls for. I think it's strange for him to see so many children with their parents, and he's trying to figure out who belongs to who and who he belongs to and just make sense of all these people.

He gets frustrated at home sometimes still, but I think most of those things are normal age things and not attachment. I've been reading "Your Six Year Old" and it says that children this age have a hard time losing or being unable to do something. This is Andrei completely. He gets angry when he can't catch the football, when he can't tie his shoe, when he can't make his robot stand up straight. I just wait patiently (as I can) until he comes to me for help, or just let him keep trying until he gets it.

His English is coming along so quickly, I'm pretty shocked. He says the English word sometimes when he needs something, which is actually kind of difficult becuase his pronunciation is off, and we don't know what language he is speaking, so we have to figure that out too. It took 10 minutes to get that he was looking for his 'rallet' because he actually ment 'wallet', and I was expecting to hear 'kooshlock'. But we're getting it. When he asks for something and I don't know what now, I ask him 'where?' and he shows me and we figure it out. And there's our handy dandy dictionary which is used often.
He's also understanding so much more and picking up on our conversations. Even when we're not talking to him, he'll hear us say 'seven' and poke me and hold up seven fingers. Or I said 'movie' to my mom the other day and he piped up and said Scooby-Doo! Brent and I will have to sensor our conversation much sooner than I thought we would. :)

So that's how Andrei is adjusting. We're still sort of in survival mode because of the busy holidays, and then things will really calm down come January and we can start working on real life.

Andrei's newest English phrase

"Gimmie a hug"
*awwww*

The stocking chocolate rating thread

Brent and Andrei and I opened our stockings from each other tonight and I got no less than 10 bars of chocolate in mine! Yum yum yummy!

Here I will taste test each one and rate them for you, and probably get a bit sick in the process, but I'm willing to make that kind of sacrifice.
All of these can be found at Nature's Best (I know because Brent left the price tags on every one).

1. Terra Nostra Pomegranate Truffle Robust 60% Cacao. Vegan, Organic, Fair Trade, Kosher. At first when I tried this bar I thought the pomegranate was a bit sour, but it grew on me. I like the fruity filling - usually truffles are very rich and too strong, but the pomegranate was lighter and delicious.

2. Dagoba Prima Materia 100%. Vegan, organic, Fair Trade, Kosher. Um, this was 100% cacao. As in baking chocolate. I love Dagoba, but why in the world would they sell 100% as a candy bar in a candy store. Whatever. I took one bite and a huge gulp of water. I've even enjoyed 95% before, but this? Blech. We'll save that one for baking - as it was intended.

3. ScharffenBerger 70% Cacao Pure Dark Chocolate. Kosher. Very sweet compared to the last bar. It also had vanilla beans in it and added a nice light flavor.

4. New Tree Bitter Orange/Crisped Rice Rejoice This one was milk chocolate, not dark which I usually eat. I did have to have two bites though, and shared one with Brent too. At first it tasted like those chocolate orange thingys which I love, but then it had a weird aftertaste. Looking at the ingredients, it also had lime extract too, which I think didn't mesh the best with the bitter orange. It seems like it would, but ... meh. Not like it'll stop me. :)

5. Vivani Dark Chocolate with Lemon Flavor - 70% cacao Vegan, Organic. I love love love plain, unadulterated dark chocolate and this one fits the bill. But it has just a bit of lemon that you can't taste, but can smell when you're eating it. At the end, I tasted lemon and not chocolate, which was not the best, but still good chocolate.

6. Endangered Species Milk Chocolate with Pecan Praline - Gorilla Endangered Species Chocolate donates 10% of their profits to support endangered species, habitat, and humanity. Fair Trade. Pecans in chocolate bars is not common, I think. I'm not a huge fan of toffee - which is the same thing as praline, right? So it wasn't my favorite chocolate, but I think I'll like it anyway - just not too much at a time.

7. Endangered Species Milk Chocolate with Rice Crisp - Manatee Fair Trade. Eh. Just plain milk chocolate with a few crispies thrown in. Not very good crispies. Like I said - eh.

8. Endangered Species Milk Chocolate with Coconut and Macadamia Nuts - Orangutan Fair Trade. I looove coconut and I wish this had more flavor in it. I could barely taste it. But it tasted better than plain milk chocolate, so I'm not complaining.

9. Endangered Species Milk Chocolate with Cherries - Dolphin Fair Trade. Yummy! I love berries in chocolate. Yummy again. Again, though, not enough. Endangered Species chocolate has endangered flavoring. I had to take a few bites to get enough cherry goodness. But still, so so good. Drroooolllll.

10. Dagoba Super Fruit - Acai, Gogi Berries, and Currants - 74% cacao Fair Trade, Organic, Vegan, Kosher. I had to look up what Acai was and apparantly it's some kind of grape like fruit and also a super antioxidant. Oooh - save the best for last. I love Dagoba anyway and 70ish% is my favorite cacao number. I didn't really taste the fruit, but it wasn't plain either. This bar will be the first gone, I'm sure.
--

And for a bonus round - I also got some other goodies in my stocking which I will also tell you all about. Brent must have been feeling very generous today - or maybe feeling sorry for me lol!

Beurre Karite Lavender Hand Cream -- This was in a metal tube and had the consistancy of toothpaste. I'm not a huge fan of lavender essential oil, and even though it was strong smelling, it was okay. The cream was great - I guess paying a bundle for hand cream is worth it. It was not too greasy or thin - just perfect and made my hands super soft. I didn't need much to do a great job. I predict this will get much use since my hands get so dry in the winter and my regular lotion I need to use two or three times in a row before my hands aren't dried out all the time. Now... where do I hide it....

Beurre Karite Dry Skin Foot Cream -- So, are my feet that bad that Brent can't bear to have me next to him at night? Hopefully not. This was in the same type of metal tube and also very thick. It smelled delciously pepperminty and felt wonderfull on my one foot - so much that my other foot felt angry and dry and jealous. Maybe I can bribe Brent to help me out with that - I have lots of chocolate to bribe him with.

Burt's Beeswax Moisturizing Day Creame - This smelled like a cross between medicine and perfume -not what you expect from a natural product like Burt's Bees. It was nice and soft on my windblown cheecks though. Now my hands are getting greasy from testing all these products, but that's better than the alternative - dry hands drive me nuts.

Last but not least - Burt's Bees Peppermint Lip Balm. I have used this brand for a while and I love it. Mint is my favorite flavor and I love the cool spiciness of peppermint oil. However, the other day Andrei borrowed my lip balm and broke it. So now I have a replacement tube, and I also bought some for his stocking so he can break his own next time :)

--
Well, now that I'm all chocolated and moisturized and have a little bit of a sugar rush, I have to try and sleep. Good luck with that. All the bars were so yummy, and in the past my stocking chocolate has not made it to the new year. Every year I try and make it last, but there's a law against that or something, right?
Merry Christmas everyone! :)

Andrei's first Homer tradition

Andrei is watching Christmas Vacation tonight for the first time. Ah, a true Homer.

I only take comfort that he doesn't understand it yet....

You're not six, you're seven!

Or, rather, "Andrei nee shest, Andrei sehm!"
I tried to figure out how to tell Andrei it was his birthday, but the only thing I could find was 'special day' so we went with just telling him that he wasn't six anymore, he was now seven, and showing him a picture of a birthday cake, which he was disappointed that it only had five candles.
I brought him a baloon (scooby doo!) and chocolate milk for breakfast and then that evening, the grandparents came over for pizza and cake.
We got him a watch and some legos, aunt Holly and uncle Chris got him a football (which I promptly put in the outdoor stuff closet), the grandparents got him some books, clothes, a game, and a movie.
He also got a membership to Above and Beyond Children's Museum which I can not wait to try.
It was a good day. I can't believe I have a seven year old kid!

Early Riser

People with children or cats do not sleep in.

First day back

Lots of visitors coming and going today. Andrei did great.

I ran to the grocery store and Brent and Andrei had fun putting all the ornaments in the house on the tree. Then Brent had to go to work and Andrei and I decorated more for Christmas, played with cars, played in the snow and really just explored the house and cleaned up from the trip.

Andrei's new best friend is Beaver the Cat. Beaver is very tolerant. Andrei tries to feed him radishes or cheetos, and covers him up while he's sleeping, and Beaver just looks up and probably sighs internally.
Larry the Cat, on the other hand, doesn't really like kids. He has been hiding out since we walked in the door, and I only saw him when I fed him this morning and Andrei was still sleeping. Aparantly he came out while I was gone and hissed at Andrei, after which Andrei found Beaver and told him to bite Larry for him - that's what Brent thought he said anyway.

He did okay with no TV, although I could see he was bored a little bit of the day. He got over that quickly. We set him up with Netflix last week, and he watched Scooby-Doo in English and then it was bath and bed.
The day went fast. I'm exhausted - I hope we all get mor than four hours of sleep tonight.

The long version of the longest day

So yesterday started about 6 AM, Moscow time - just when Americans were going to sleep Monday night. Dima came to pick us up at 7:30, then we had to pick up Sasha and Mr. Bradshaw because they were flying out the same day, but later. We got a little waylayed, but were still on time.
So we got to the airport, said our good byes and walked in to the departures area.
As you may remember from my first post, Moscow's airport hat two buildings - and they are about 20 minutes away from each other. So we stood around for a good 15 minutes - maybe more - before we realized we were in the wrong building.
We couldn't find any place to buy a phone card to call Dima, so I went to the taxi counter and asked if they had a driver available. This was about 9:40 and our plane left at 10:15.
We got a taxi and tried to get him to hurry, but there was construction. We got to the airport about 10 AM. We ran inside, though baggage check, only to find that there was no departure window for Warsaw. We flagged down another Aeroflot employee and asked her what to do. She pointed us to the employee lounge told us to ask a manager to let us through. By this time it was 10:10 and it was simply too late.
Crap.
The Aeroflot lady said we should go up to the LOT office and ask them about booking a later flight. So we loaded up all of our stuff and went off to find it. It was closed. It did not have hours posted when it would be open.
We went back to Aeroflot and asked them when their next flight to Warsaw was. Tomorrow.
So. What do we do? We could call someone and drive back into Moscow, and then try to get on tomorrows flight with LOT - if there was room. Or we could just buy another ticket from someone else and leave.
We chose the latter. I knew that Aeroflot had a daily flight to New York so we walked up to the window and got three tickets. I think it cost somewhere around $4000. Yeah, that wasn't really in our budget, but for our own sanity, it had to be done.
So now it was about 11 AM and we could go through the line at 1 PM.
At this point Andrei was getting near uncongtrollable. I don't blame him. He already gets overstimulated way easy, and then we were rushing him back and forth through the airport, and I'm sure he could tell that we were getting frustrated too with the whole situation. He would not stop running away from us and into restricted areas. And then when we'd bring him back, he'd start swinging. So we held him sitting on the dirty, nasty floor of the airport - his legs under my legs, his fists in my hands, screaming and crying (just him, although I wanted to). This was definately the low point of the day. So we took out our last resort. Children's benydryl. And i prayed - no, begged - to God that it would not rile him up more, as I had heard so many horror stories of. Well, it didn't jack him up. But it didn't calm him down either. I think it had no effect. But soon enough it was time to move again, and we stood in line to get our boarding pass.

I have never waited in line so much as at that airport. And I kept thinking that everyone else in line was like - please don't let me have a seat next to this kid. I was thinking the same thing! But at least there are seatbelts on airplanes.
Everyone who flew to New York had to have their bags x-rayed, and then also hand checked by a security person. This actually wasn't that bad because the lady talked to Andrei the whole time and it gave him something to focus on. Then we stood in line some more and got our boarding pass. Then we stood in line some more at passport control. I think the lady read every single one of Andrei's documents, but oh well. Then through the duty free shop area. I was a little worried about this part because Andrei is so grabby, but there were mostly stores for cosmetics and alcohol - neither of which interest him.
Somewhere along the way he got angry again but I don't remember what, but we bought some food and ate quickly - since we couldn't bring it into the seating area. Then we had our carryon luggage hand checked and went to wait some more.

Then came the flight. It was about 10 hours long but of course it felt like an eternity. It wasn't overly horrible. Andrei did get angry a few times because if he loses something - he thinks we stole it or something so he gets really mad. So we spent a lot of time looking under the seats for crayons, cars, marker tops, and other little things. Then this wonderful old lady came up and started talking to him. She saw his pictures he had and talked him about whatever in Russian, and took him walking up and down the aisle. She was a god-send. After this they turned off all the lights, but Andrei had no intention of going to sleep. So I gave him some Melatonin for just that purpose and he was out like a light. He slept for about 4 hours, with a few times waking up kicking and crying - I think his ears hurt - he never could figure out how to equalize the pressure and was sticking his fingers in them the whole flight.
We met another adoption family on the flight that had two children from the far eastern part of Russia - a 10 hour flight from Moscow. There was a single dad with a boy too, but we didn't get to talk to them. We tried to get Andrei to talk to the other kids, but he didnt' want to.
We landed in New York about 7 PM. As soon as we landed I called JetBlue to see if they had any open seats on their 9PM flight to Chicago. They did, but couldn't book over the phone.
First we had to go through passport control - the US citizen line. The officer there opened Andrei's immigration packet from the embassy and asked us some questions and then took us to the Immigration office. We waited for about 20 minutes and then got Andrei's stamped passport and we were off. We quickly got our luggage, sailed through customs and went to find JetBlue ticketing. It was in a different bulding, so we had to take the shuttle train. That was easy enough except when we were getting off, Andrei didn't follow right away and then panicked when the doors started shutting and we had to grab him by the collar and yank him though. I think it scared him. It scared me.
We finally found the Jetblue boarding line, and then ticketing. We got in just in time I think. After we got our boarding passes, we went straight through security and found our gate. Andrei and Brent had just sat down and I went to get us some food when they called for boarding. That was cutting it close.
So we boarded and Andrei was enthralled with the personal TVs on the back of each seat. Me too. I got to watch The Grinch in English! The flight was a short two hours and we talked a lot with the flight attendant, since we were in the second back row of the plane. JetBlue was the nicest airline we have ever flown on - lots of leg room, good snacks, personal TVs - too bad it doesn't fly out of Milwaukee.
I will say, that my favorite part of the trip was flying out of NewYork at night. It was beautiful seeing all the lights of the city.
We landed in Chicago at 11 PM and my parents were waiting at the bottom of the escalator. Andrei ran down and got big hugs and then Brent and I got both got big hugs too.
We collected our luggage and was on our way home.
There were a few surprises (good this time) when we got home but I will post about them later tonight.
Andrei wanted a bath and then we all finally went to bed close to 3 AM. The cats woke me up at 7. Blech. Andrei got up shortly after, and now he's not making any noise, so I should probably check that out.

Anyway, we come to the end of one journey, and the beginning of another. Andrei is a joy this morning and remembered his room and all of his things. He hugged us tight before bed last night and I think he knew he was home. It's a good place to be.

The longest day

Oh my gosh today was the worst day ever forever I have ever had. We missed our flight because our driver took us to the wrong airport and then left So we had to buy new tickets with a different airline and then get to New York and run through JFK to get tickets to Chicago.
And Andrei was in melt down mode all day long.

I'ts 2AM and we're finally finally home :whew:

My Inlaws set up a Christmas tree for us so he's all excited and not tired, but he said he'd take a bath and go to bed, so I hope so. I haven't slept in 28 hours

I'll be back later :yawn:

Last day - hooray!!!!

And it was a stressor.
I'm pretty sure Andrei was out of sorts because he knew that the America trip was coming. He sees it on the calender, and then we also were packing our bags today. Now he's sleeping and Brent and I are going through the apartment finishing up and checking all the nooks and crannies. Tomorrow Dima is calling us at 6 AM (we don't have an alarm clock) and then will pick us up around 7:30.

We didn't have to go get our paperwork today - Marina picked it up for us, so that was nice. Andrei had a bit of a hard time at the bookstore and I had to carry him out. He was doing all fine until he saw one of those books that have music buttons, and then he melted down when we told him he couldn't have it. I got spit in my hair, punched in the face (that was my own fault), and got called a balvana alot although I don't know what that means. Oh well. I just kept thinking - I'm never seeing these people again and we're leaving tomorrow. Ha-le-lu-jah!

I had better get going and get to bed because tomorrow will be a long one.

See you back in the states!

A different church in Moscow

Today we went to International Christian Assembly - one of the two Assembly of God churches in Russia. We heard about this church from an AG missionary that visited our church last winter. We wanted to get together with him while we were in Moscow, so he invited us to his church and then we went out for lunch afterward.

Andrei spent his first time in Children's church this week. There were only two children because it was the early service and most of the families come to the late service. But he drew a picture (see last post) and got some cookies and played with the younger kids. I was a nervous wreck, of course, leaving him, but when I went in there after service he was all smiles and the worker said he did very well. I think last week there were too many kids and this week he could just play the whole time. I'm debating whether I want to take him to church the day after we get back, for Wednesday night kid's service. I guess I'll just see how much sleep we get. If anything, we can just walk home if he wants to.

After church Doug, the missionary, and his family took us on the Metro. It was pretty cool. We were too chicken to go by ourselves earlier in the trip, but now I kind of regret not going sooner. The deepest part of the Metro is over 100 feet underground, and you take a humungous escalator which feels like you're going into Moria. It's disorienting and very steep - you have to catch yourself from falling forward. I was a little disappointed that we didn't go through one of the cooler Metro stations.
We ate lunch at McDonalds, and just like the other times we took Andrei there, he was only interested in his toy and didn't eat barely a bite of his food.
After McD's, we walked to Starbucks. Starbucks is very new in Moscow because someone bought the rights to the name in Russia and wouldn't sell it to Starbucks without going to court. Finally they settled and Starbucks opened it's first two stores in Moscow this year. It was delicious. I had my favorite- a Peppermint Mocha - and a large cost $10. Ouch. But it tasted so good. Also, if I would have been home these past 3 weeks, I would have spent much, much more than $10 at Starbucks. Brent had a Large Latte and his was $9 I think.

After that Dima came and picked us up and we did a little shopping, and then he took us home. It was about 3 PM, so we were glad to be winding down the day. Tomorrow morning I plan to pack most of our things, then in the afternoon we get Andrei's passport back so we can get the heck outta here!!
Wahoo!

Few more pictures

Here is Brent escaping for a few minutes. Out the window is the White House which Andrei points out every meal and says - Russian Flag with President Putin. We showed him the American flag, but he did not seem near as impressed.



Here is the picture that Andrei drew in his first time ever being in Children's church. On the right is baby Jesus, Mary, and an angel. And fireworks for Christmas. And then, of course, a huge picture of papa.



Here is our fearless driver, Dima. He also does horseback riding and nature tours out by the Ural Moutnains. Here's his website with some of the tours he does. I want to go and I don't even like horses - he's a great tour guide.



And here is Starbucks. We had to visit. My Peppermint Mocha cost $10. It was worth it.

Three days left

Or maybe three and a half if you count airplane day because it's a really long day.

Yesterday we filed with the Minister of Foreign Affairs, which notes Andrei as an internationally adopted child with Russia's government. Marina tried to get them to do it all in one day, but they said no, so we have to wait until Monday, which is what we were expecting, but it still would have been nice.

They have Andrei's passport, so unfortunately we can't just leave anyway.

Today, Saturday was absolutely nothing special. It's getting colder out so our walk to the grocery store was especially bitter. Brent and Andrei played in the snow, but Andrei's gloves kind of froze so he had to wear papa's gloves. This was because Brent LOST one of Andrei's nice mittens in a church, so we had to buy cheapy gloves at the grocery store which do no good whatsoever. Although I shouldn't yell because I also lost my gloves, I think in Dima's van.

Nothing interesting to write, and boy am I glad about that!

I am really looking forward to getting back to normal life. I told Brent that I really do not mind this small apartment, but it bothers me that there is no place for things - everything is just piled up around and we still have suitcases in the middle of the floor. If I could make it 'mine' it would be better.
I'm looking forward to not having to buy water in jugs.
I'm looking forward to letting Andrei make noise and be a kid.
I'm looking forward to having a bigger bed again, and hopefully Andrei feeling comfortable enough to sleep in his bed.
I'm especially looking forward to never, ever seeing Cartoon Network or Nickelodean ever again for the rest of my life.
Brent said he misses his PS3.

Pure religion

Pure religion is this - to care for orphans and widows in their distress. James 1:27

I've talked about this before, but today it hit me in the face. Many years ago, before Brent and I even wanted children, I was flipping through the channels and came across a documentary "The Children of Leningratsky". I encourage you to watch the DVD or catch it on HBO (although I don't know when it's playing). It's awful and horrible and heartbreaking.

There are 700,000 Russian orphans. Children graduate from orphanages at age 16 and are expected to make it for themselves with substandard education, no job, no home. 75% don't even live to age 25.
There are over 30,000 children living on the Moscow streets. They sell their bodies as young as age 7 just for a warm bed and dinner. They sniff glue and sleep under the streets on the city's heating ducts. Everyone is against them, even the police beat them and throw them out.

I don't think I adequately have the words to express what I'm feeling.
We've seen homeless in the underpass the whole time we've been here, but today there was a group of children. They were younger than Andrei. We were on our way to dinner and I left Brent and Andrei at the restaurant and ran to the grocery store. I got two heavy bags of food that I thought might last a few days and handed them to two tiny dirty children - girls - who were begging at a food stand.
And then I went home and cried.

It wasn't enough. I have a houseful of food and clothing and heat and blankets. Brent and I both work - we have enough money to go to Starbucks and get Netflix. Andrei already has too many toys.

I fed two little girls for a day or two - it cost $30. Less than a day's worth of work.
I gave a little boy an opportunity to live in a home and have loving parents. Perhaps you aren't in the place to do that, but surely you have $30.

Children's Hope Chest
Russian Orphan Opportunity Fund
Active Child Aid

And to go one more step, The Lighthouse Project (the hosting program we used) has children coming to Wisconsin in January that need host homes.

Went to America Part 2

Today we had to go back to our appointment at the American Embassy. All adoptions have to be there between 2 and 4 PM. We were the second appointment of the day. The first appointment was a Kansas City couple with a new 2.5 year old son. Then the ones after us were a family from Colorado that had two sons and then adopted a brother and sister that were a little older than Andrei. They had both been in the process for over 2 years, and the Kansas City couple had been in Russia for 8 weeks because of issues with their judge. I don't know if I could make it that long. After we were almost done, the Bradshaws showed up and the other family (Wagners) who just had their court date last week. Andrei and Sasha had a great time catching up on things and then running in circles screaming.

Our 'interview' was a guy asking us to put up our right hand and swearing that all of our documents were true and correct. Then he made sure that Andrei's new name was spelled correctly and that was it. We had to sit for about 20 minutes and wait for Andrei's US visa to be printed and then we were all done.

Picutred above is Andrei's adoption decree, his Russian birth certificate (with us listed as his natural parents) and his Russian passport. We also got a copy of the judge's ruling, and legal documents stating that his birth-parent's rights were terminated and why. And some more paperwork that all says the same thing.
We also got a sealed envelope which we don't open, but take with us and give it to Immigration when we land in the US. I think it contains his application for citizenship, his application for immigration, and his medical report from the Moscow doctor appointment. I'm sure it has more, but I don't know what.

All of this took about an hour and we went home to more of the same old same old. TV, bath, TV, dinner, TV, bath, bed.

Andrei is doing so much better. He melts down still at dinner and bedtime, but it's managable. He still eats all day, but has stopped shoveling his food.
Our new struggle is getting him dressed in the morning. He just wants to lay around in his underwear and watch TV all day. He got all indignant when I told him he had to get dressed before he could have a snack.
Then he doensn't want to eat anything at dinner, but as soon as we're back to watching TV, he's running to the kitchen for a million snacks. Actually today was the first time he ate his whole lunch and whole dinner, so it's all improving.
We'll have a big adjustment when we get home and that TV doesn't even work. But, then again, he can scream all he wants because we don't have cranky neighbors either.
Only 5 more days!

Went to America today

Today Brent and I walked to the American Embassy and left Andrei with Dima and Sasha for a few minutes. We basically walked in, handed someone some papers, handed someone else some money (actually credit card), and then got an appointment card for tomorrow afternoon to come back and get Andrei’s paperwork.
The Embassy used to process adoptions in one day but now it takes two.
After tomorrow we have to wait two days while our facilitator files with the Ministry of Foreign Affairs and then we can go home next Tuesday. I misunderstood about us going home early, so it is not to be.

Then in the afternoon Dima took us to the Church of Jesus the Savior and the Red Square. We took over 100 pictures, so they will hopefully be up soon.
Andrei did fairly well. It was weird seeing him talk with Dima and ask about some of the paintings and exhibits in the Cathedral. We never get to really talk with him and hear what he is thinking. He got a little feisty but then Dima told him to act like a big boy and not a baby, so he shaped up. Maybe I should have asked him how to say that.

After all that it was kind of late so we ordered pizza from a place we found online. Well also at the same time someone came over to look at our phone, because we couldn’t call Internationally anymore. After about two hours I call the pizza place back and ask about our order - apparently the guy was at our place and tried to call us to let him up but since our phone was being fixed we didn’t hear it. So she asked us if we could wait another hour since the delivery guy was on another call. Sure. So we waited. In the end it was about 9:30 when the pizza guy got here and Brent had to go downstairs to meet him and bring our stuff back up. He also had the wrong apartment number.
The pizza was cold and the drinks were warm so we reheated the pizza and the drinks are chilling for tomorrow night.

Since all of this is happening so late, Brent is just now putting Andrei to bed at 10:30. Maybe tomorrow he will let us sleep past 7. One can only hope.

Two more things

that I've learned in my week or so of motherhood....

1. When you put catsup on your kids plate, put it on the edge away from them, and not the side. They will get their sleeves in it otherwise.

2. If you promise your kid a candy if they go to the store with you, make sure they can fully understand in their own language, that the candy is at the store and you don't actually have it yet. Or they may go stomping around for their candy and you have to somehow mime yourself going to the store and getting it there. Not easy. Also, when you get to the store, just buy some extra for the next time.
Or maybe you should just not bribe your kid with candy.

Wise words of parenting, I tell you.

Just a week left - or possibly less? :)

Today was weird. Andrei is definately showing other emotions other than goofy giggly melt down. He woke up kind of crabby, but we managed. I woke up kind of crabby too, but took an extra long shower (aka only time and place that mommy has to pray) and caught up on my devotions so I felt better after that.

Then we needed to go to the grocery store, and he was acting wonky, so I asked him if he wanted to take a nap or go along to the sotre. He said store, so I handed him his socks - fine - and then his boots. He flipped. He started yelling at both Brent and I. I told him he needed to calm down and take a nap. He just kept yelling at us in Russian - we had no idea what set him off or what he wanted. We couldn't even get a word in edgewise. So we brought him into the second bedroom and put him in bed. He proceeded to tell us off for almost a half hour. Brent and I just sat there, stunned. All I could understand was something about the orphanage, and how he didn't want to go to America and didn't love us. We just kept telling him we loved him over and over. It's all we knew what to say. We told him we were mama and papa and no more orphanage. He just kept yelling back. After a while he was just sitting there scowling so we asked him if he wanted to go back and watch TV. He said yes, so we got up and he ran ahead of us, did a summersault, said good morning, gave us both hugs and kisses and told us he did in fact love us. Then he got up and started cleaning the apartment.
Weird.

The rest of the day was a breeze. We even took him inside the book store and he picked out the wallet and a lego toy without melting down. Later he was saying - mama and papa love Andrei - which he's never said before, so maybe he was just feeling unsure, and we've passed anther milestone.

He still has a hard time with dinner and bedtime, which I don't really get- it's not like he doesn't know what to expect, but whatever - we'll get through.

So, big news here - I was going to say that a week from right now we'll be on a plane, but it might be sooner!
Marina sent our paperwork overnight so we're going to the Embassy tomorrow morning. We were not expecting that until later in the week. Then we will go back for our interview on Thursday, and if all goes well, we can come home two days after that -so maybe Saturday instead of next Tuesday. Even if it's one day early - I'll take it!!
Oh yeah - also the Saturday flight only has a 2.5 hour layover instead of a 6 hour layover, so I really hope we can take it.

I'm laughing

Andrei kept losing his coins so we were at the store and bought him a wallet with a zipper pouch. Now he follows Brent around asking him for money. haha He just says it with such a sad voice - please papa - I love you papa - give me some money papa.

It worked once and now he won't ever ever let up, probably for 10 or 20 years or so.

Tenth Day

Today the 10 days were up, so there is no turning back. Andrei is ours for ever more.

Today was not so great, but there was no crying and minimal screaming, so I wouldn’t say it was outright bad.
I wish I could pinpoint the place where it starts to go downhill so I could prevent it, but it seems to sneak up on us.
I also wish we could communicate better because I know it’s causing 99% of our problems. If he wants something, we don’t know what. I say ‘I don’t understand’ in Russian, and then he yells it, like maybe that will help. If he loses something he thinks we took it, while we are looking for it with him (and for a kid who is so possessive, he sure loses things a lot). He doesn’t understand that the DVD is scratched and that’s why it doesn’t work or that tomorrow or later we will do something.

So today was going fairly well and then Andrei started acting cagey, so we decided to take him for a walk, and then have dinner at this place I’d been wanting to try - Kish Mish. He usually gets excited and is really good about getting his coat on, so when he wasn’t, I probably should have taken the hint and made dinner myself. But, no, we pushed him out the door without his coat (which he put on right away then), and then we walked a little bit, and then to the restaurant.

Kish Mish is an Uzbek restaurant and I have heard great things about it. It’s decorated traditionally, and has a menu that, even in English, we didn’t know what half the things were. We ordered chicken soup for Andrei, Uzbek bread for us all, borsht and a fried cheese tortilla thing for me, and potato dumplings for Brent. It was all really really good. I would totally go back, just for the borsht. Yummy!
Anyway, Andrei wouldn’t touch his soup or anything really. He was acting weird. Usually he melts down by giggling uncontrollably and acting generally like a 2 year old, but at the restaurant he was acting all grumpy and growly. We kept him sort of occupied through dinner and then as we were finishing up it escalated and he started picking the sesame seeds off the bread and throwing them at us. *rolling eyes* So Brent asked for the check and took Andrei outside while I paid up. Andrei ran ahead of Brent, right out the door, and then realized that he wanted back in, but Brent prevented him. So Brent got yelled at. Then I got outside and got yelled at too for a while until he was calm enough to get his coat on and we walked home.
Later I looked up one of the words that Andrei was yelling and found that he had called me ‘evil’. I sort of find that funny.
I feel like I just need to walk around with a huge sandwich board saying I’m sorry for my son’s craziness. Although most people we encounter see that we are American, and Andrei is not, and I think they hopefully get the picture.

After we got home, we threw Andrei in the bath and then watched some TV and Snow White and now he’s in bed again, tonight with minimal trauma.

My “adoptive parents support team” tells me it’s better that he’s acting up sooner than later. They say that the longer the ‘honeymoon’ lasts, it is exponentially longer attachment time afterward. So I take comfort in that fact. Also that he is now equally pissy to both Brent and I and that I’m not just the bad guy. We will get through this, and I will be able to leave my house someday. :)

More fun facts

Our apartment has a pipe that whistles once in a while, usually after we use hot water but sometimes after the neighbors do. It is really freaking annoying.

Hot dogs here come individually shrink-wrapped - a fact I did not realize until I threw two in the frying pan.

To light our oven, we have to turn on the gas and just hold a lit match somewhere near the bottom. Also, there is no temperature control - just on or off. I had to ask the cleaning lady how to do this.

The washing machine stops right before spin dry, and you have to manually turn it to the next selection. I found this out when I opened it for the first time and spilled water all over the floor.

Andrei has accumulated about a Ruble and 50 Kopek from finding coins on the ground. Also a 10R note that Brent used to bribe him.

Any time we go any where, Andrei asks if we’re going to see grandma and grandpa. Also if the doorbell rings he asks if it’s them. He’s really excited to get home!

The last time I uploaded the pictures from my camera, there were a couple of pics of me sleeping - I think I had better put it away before bed tonight :)

More pictures

Our picture site has been wonky, so I'll just post a few here.

This is our walk to the grocery - Novoy Arbat street


Brent's favorite thing to see on the way


Only a few stores have Christmas displays


Our countdown calander and Andrei's name writing page. There were no magnets on the fridge, so everything is stuck up there with the sticky parts cut off of post-it notes


Brent's postcard that he bought for himself, and also a pertinent reminder to the new and stressed out parents


Brent video chatting in the hallway. Andrei goes nuts for video chat. He loves to talk to grandpa or anyone who is on. He also says hello any time there is a picture up to see if it will talk back - even a picture of our cat.


Andrei 'writing' - or the richter scale when he runs down the hallway


Say cheese!!!

Church in Moscow

I didn’t post last night because bedtime went so badly that I was just too upset to say anything nice. The whole day I was kind of sick of being ignored and blamed for every wrong thing, and then bedtime turned into a power struggle and of course I was the bad one and Brent was the one to run to for comfort. I kind of lost my patience and stormed into the other room. Every evening, though I seem to run across a verse or a quote that makes me feel better and refills me. And that’s what happened last night. After surfing my favorite laugh site, I was able to go to bed with everyone else and not sleep in the other room. In the morning I was able to say good morning and kiss him on the head and restart the day - even though he was extra grumpy.

So today was Sunday. We didn’t make it to church last Sunday so I said we were going to go today. Yesterday Dima told us he was busy though, and couldn’t take us (another thing that added to the bad day). So I got up and found the metro station and how to get there and told Brent we were going. Then Dima called and said the other family overslept and he was able to take us to church. Which was extra good because it wasn’t where I thought and we surely would have gotten lost.

We went to Good News church, of which the pastor is a friend of a friend. The church was held in a theater - not sure if they owned it or not. We went into the main sanctuary and saw an announcement saying that if you needed English translation, sit in this certain section. So we moved over there and each got little headsets. Then worship started but it was super loud and Andrei was covering his ears. I saw that they had a children’s program so the two of us went off to find it. There was an English speaking parent there which helped me get him signed in and the worker lady tried to convince Andrei to join the other children but he was wary. There were leather couches to the sides so we sat on them and he watched from a distance. I think the whole place made him nervous, and then seeing a bunch of kids without their parents I think made him really edgy. He stuck to me pretty solidly. Then the singing started down there and it was too loud for him there too (I’m kind of wondering how he’ll do at our church - we might just have to come late for a while). So we went back to the adult service.
We sat outside the room until it seemed like the loud worship was over, then we went back in to find Brent.
Andrei was okay during the service. He was fidgety and talked a lot - probably like any 6 year old who has a hard time sitting still and had never been to church before. But we made it through. Then at the end they served communion, and we passed the plates over Andrei’s head but the server offered it to him and we didn’t stop him. He ate the bread right away, and spilled half the cup onto the seat in front of him. D’oh! At least the seats were red. And that Andrei’s sweatshirt was red, because he used his sleeve to clean up (rub in) the spill, and then proudly show papa what a good job he did, grinding grape juice into the cushion. And that was Andrei’s memorable first communion.
Afterward someone invited us to ‘international fellowship’ but it was clear that Andrei was ready to go, so we went to find Dima and left. We had hoped to talk to the pastor and tell him hello from our friend, but maybe next week. Dima took us to the grocery store and kindly kept Andrei in the van with him so Brent and I could rush through. Then we went home.
The rest of the day was normal. Andrei’s favorite new movie is Jungle Book. The cleaning lady gave it to him. She must have found it somewhere in the apartment because it didn’t have a case and was kind of beat up. But it still plays all the way through and even though it’s in English, Andrei shushes us and watches it with much interest. He’s had to have seen it before. In fact, during the beginning credits, I think he recited the whole story to us.

Andrei’s food issues are getting better. At first today he was really angry that I held the ‘food bowl’ and would only give him one piece of fruit at a time, but he got over it. He also learned “thank you” in English and says that about half the time instead of in Russian. Also, I make him tell me how many pieces of whatever he wants, and we count in English - I think he can recite to ten now. The only annoying thing is having to get up and follow him to the kitchen every half hour. But now he tries to hid behind the fridge and we try to scare each other, so it’s a little fun to be playing with him instead of arguing.
He still hides food a bit, but we’re more careful to watch him and we point out that he has to eat that before he can get more.
I’m not sure if I should be proud or horrified to say that today he ate an entire medium sized jar of sweet pickles, and even drank some of the juice. I don’t know how this kid doesn’t have the hugest gut ache. Blech.
I did find the magic food that he can not resist - Gummi Bears. I got almost a whole bagful of kisses and he always goes and shows papa the handful he’s accumulated. He even sat by me during the movie for a bit tonight, and he gave me a goodnight kiss - no candy required. :) It made my day. :)

Now I’m done. Tonight, Marina left for Chuvashia to escort another couple to court, and also to pick up Andrei’s paperwork so we can go home! Yay!

Much better today.

Today was so much better than yesterday - I'm amazed.

I went to bed with them and stroked Andrei's hair and held his hand and prayed for us all as I fell asleep. Then I was woken up repeatedly to kicks in the gut so I finally just moved to the other bedroom. He was really thrashing about and not wanting to sleep by anyone. But I got a little sleep after I moved.
When Andrei gets up he makes sure everyone is up though. He turns on the light and brings me my glasses and won't let either of us go back under the covers. He's dressed and asking for breakfast before either of us opens our eyes.

We ate breakfast and Andrei only had a minor meltdown while Brent was in the shower. When he runs through the apt, we try to keep our hands on his shoulders and say "peace, peace" until he calms down. I don't think we'll do this at home though, we'll have to see what happens. I'm sure we'll all have to adjust all over again.
Later in the day though, he was running and then he pointed down at his feet and slowed himself down - so he is learning. :)

After breakfast we cross off another day on the calender that I drew, and I point to the 18th with the poorly drawn airplane and Andrei says "American Boy!!" (I think he picked that up from a song). Then we eat our vitamins and Andrei gave me a kiss for one, even though I didn't ask for it - he thinks they're candy anyway.

After that we took another walk to the grocery store - third day in a row - I wonder how much weight Andrei will gain and how much Brent and I will lose by the end of this. Andrei barely made it in the door without melting down again so Brent waited for me outside and I rushed through the store, loading up on fruit and milk and Diet Coke - oh, excuse me - Coke Light.

Andrei is not watching as much TV now but he is wanting two baths every day, and we're fine with that. He can have some time when he can be loud and we can have some time when we know he's not going to pop up, slam the door and go running down the hallway.

We were planning on meeting some people for dinner, so we decided that a nap was in order. We slept for about an hour, and Andrei for a half hour longer. We were expecting the other people to call between 6 and 7 so we just kept waiting. Andrei started fruit binging again, so we made sure to cut up his food and only give him a bit at a time. Also, if we notice that he is stuffing too fast we cut him off and make a swallowing gesture - and then I make him open his mouth to make sure it's empty before i give him more. At one point he had his face so stuffed that he couldn't even chew and had to spit out half chewed food. Blech. Also I noticed the other day that he was hiding food in his mouth and then bringing it out hours later and eating it. Double blech. Maybe he is a cow with four stomaches. He got a little annoyed with all of this but accepted it as the only way he could get food. We made it into sort of a game, and also took the opportunity to introduce "pashalsta, mama" (please, mama).

His behavior kept getting worse, and he kept asking for a bath, so at 7 we finally decided it was too late to go out and made dinner while he was in the tub. He sat with us and ate a tomato. Then I offered him some M&Ms and he gave two kisses for two M&Ms and then was done. I could really tell he was nervous, but he really wanted that chocolate, so he gave in.

It was pretty late, so shortly after dinner, it was time for bed. Both Brent and I have to lay down with him to get him to calm down and then I usually get up and surf for a little. Today I got up a little too early and opening the laptop woke him up. (the internet hook up is in the same room) He popped up and said good morning and it took some convincing to get him back in bed.
But now all is peacefull except for some snoring. :) I've been a mom officially for a week now, and today is the halfway point of our trip :)

Attachment

Today was a difficult attachment day. It is becoming more and more apparant that Andrei has some serious issues - more than we thought.

I understand that he has had women in and out of his life for years, but yet no mother. He has not, however, had any men in his life ever. So Brent is a wholly wonderful new thing to him. A dad is awesome and wonderful. I know this. This is normal and expected. It doesn't make it hurt any less.

Andrei will go to Brent but not me. He will hug Brent like the world's going to end but won't even look up when I say his name. He doesn't notice if I go away for 2 hours, but had a melt-down because Brent was in the bathroom for 5 minutes. If I sit by him on the bed (watching TV) and reach out to touch him, he'll tolerate it for a few minutes but then move to the floor.
Brent feels bad, but I just keep reminding myself that it will get better.

We also decided to stop limiting food. After lunch he ate a huge apple and a pear. For dinner he ate a yogurt and a tomato. After that he ate a hot dog, an orange, and another tomato. Then while his mouth was still full, he was running back to the kitchen again. I offered him ice cream and he danced around and practically dug into the carton with his fingers.

A common attatchment therepy is the parent feeding the child, but only give it if they make eye contact or give a kiss. It shows them that mamas and papas provide good things, and it's okay to show love to them. We did this earlier in the week and it went fine after he understood the game.
Today I walked into the bedroom with his ice cream and turned off the TV and told him he had to come by me to get some ice cream. He hid in the corner. Brent coaxed him out and I showed Andrei that if Brent kissed me, he got ice cream. Andrei proclaimed that he didn't want ice cream - ice cream was blech. Then he hid again. Then he ran to his backpack and pulled out a pear that he had hidden. He practically inhaled it in a panic. His behavior just kept escalating and he kept running through the apt. and the neighbors started pounding on the wall so we picked him up and pulled him into the second bedroom.
He played with the blinds for a bit and then we proclaimed it bedtime. He shreiked and we laid him down. He fake snored and kept sitting up and we kept telling him it was sleep time. Then he started crying a bit, said "I want ..something I didn't understand.." and completely passed out.

Poor baby. :( Actually he's more like a wild animal - completely afraid and feral.

He's sleeping and Brent is playing PSP - afraid to leave him alone. If he wakes up alone he might completely freak out.

So today was not so great. It actually started out well, but just went downhill from about lunch. Then for dinner I thought I had made Brent and I cheese ravioli but it was some weird cream cheese frosting ravioli. ? What the heck? Who would eat that? It was disgusting.

It helps that DH and Andrei go to bed so early because I can have a few hours to myself to regroup and psyche myself up for the next day.

-----
One more thing.
I hate to say this so close to Christmas and Andrei's birthday.... Another common attachment therapy is to prevent the giving of gifts to the child by anyone but the parents. All and any good things must come from mama and papa. Especially candy or sweets. So, grandparents and friends, just warning you now. I hope it doesn't come down to that, but it might. I know you want to spoil him rotten, but you'll have many Christmases and birthdays in the future to do so.

Andrei lost a tooth!

Andrei lost his second tooth today (we missed number one). He came in the room all bloddy and spitty holding his tooth. We all cheered and then he wanted to throw it away. I don't think they do tooth fairy at the orphanage. I sealed it up in an envelope but I'm not sure if I'll give him a ruble or not - I don't think he really gets the concept anyway.

I think he's been wiggling another tooth, so we'll see if any others fall out soon. :)

Just another Wednesday

Well we've had Andrei for one week now, and I think things are getting better. At least he is not running around putting our headphone jacks into wall sockets (we hid them) or turning the TV volume up allll the way because he doesn't know what buttons to push on the remote (we hid that too)

Today we all slept in until 8 AM - since we finally got online, I 'accidentally' stayed up until midnight catching up on things. Andrei has been sleeping about 12 hours a night, so we're happy for that. haha

We tried the school thing again and Andrei colored a picture and wrote his name and did a puzzle again. We played an Andrei version of Memory with Skip-Bo cards. Then I tried to show him how to make a snowflake out of a folded papertowel, but he cut it in half. We only had a